Lovergirls Guide to Vetting Boo Before Having Their Spirit Babies

Why Spirit Babes Feel This Matters:

Okay Lovergirls, hear me out.

If you want Spirit Babies Earthside one day, you cannot be out here acting like a “cool girl” who never has needs.

That will backfire so fast. Especially when you start having real needs and the expectation you created with your partner is one of hyper-independence (been there & so guilty of doing this in my 20’s).

Happy, healthy and stable families know it’s okay to have needs, and even anticipate one another’s needs when in a healthy flow of communication & respect.

Parenting is messy. It’s sleepless nights, grocery store meltdowns, baby puke on your shirt, and bills that need paying yesterday. If your boo can’t handle your “no,” or collapses when you ask for something small, how’s he going to act when you’re two weeks postpartum and haven’t showered in three days?

This is about protecting your heart, your womb, and your babies. Spirit Babies want to come into homes that are safe, loving, and stable… and that starts with you choosing a partner who can actually hang.

So here it is: your powerful guide to testing whether they’re parent material before you start making baby plans.

1. The “No” Test

Say no. That’s it.

“No, I don’t want to go there.”

“No, I’m not in the mood for that tonight.”

• ✅ Green flag: They respect it, maybe even say, “Cool, what do you want instead?”

• 🚩 Red flag: Sulking, pouting, guilt-tripping.

If they can’t handle a little “no,” parenting disagreements are going to be a nightmare.

2. The Follow-Through Test

Ask him to do something tiny: book a dinner reservation, bring dessert, pick up your favorite snack.

• ✅ Green flag: He actually does it. Bonus if he looks proud to help.

• 🚩 Red flag: He “forgets” until you’re the one scrambling.

If you’re already doing everything now, you’ll be solo-parenting later.

3. The Gottman Bid Check

John Gottman (relationship genius) says healthy couples respond to each other’s “bids for connection.” A bid is just:

“Look at that bird.”

“I had a rough day.”

• ✅ Green flag: She turns toward you, engages, cares.

• 🚩 Red flag: She ignores, mocks, or dismisses.

If she can’t show up for your tiny bids, she won’t show up when you’re sobbing with cracked nipples and postpartum hormones.

4. The Stress Test

Watch him in traffic. Or when plans get messy. Or when his team loses.

• ✅ Green flag: He regulates himself, stays respectful, finds solutions.

• 🚩 Red flag: He lashes out, blames, or sulks.

Parenting is basically stress bootcamp. If he dumps his stress on you, that’s a no.

5. The Consistency Check

Words vs. actions. Public vs. private.

• ✅ Green flag: They show up the same way, no masks, no excuses.

• 🚩 Red flag: Sweetie in public, unkind in private.

If you can’t trust their consistency now, don’t gamble with your kids’ future stability.

6. The Teamwork Trial

Plan a trip, throw a party, cook a meal together.

• ✅ Green flag: They collaborate, takes initiative, makes it fun.

• 🚩 Red flag: They zone out and leave you to do it all.

Family is teamwork. Period.

7. The Accountability Gauge

Everyone messes up. What matters is repair.

• ✅ Green flag: They own it, apologize, change their behavior.

• 🚩 Red flag: They deflect, blame you, or keeps repeating it. Watch out for DARVO. That’s a big red flag.

No accountability = no growth = no family foundation.

8. The Travel & No-Sleep Test

(Parenting Preview)

Travel together. Stay up late. Deal with delays and chaos.

• ✅ Green flag: He stays kind, rolls with it, still treats you with love.

• 🚩 Red flag: He melts down like a toddler himself.

Parenting is basically “life on no sleep.” If he turns mean or selfish when tired, believe him. That is who you will get for 3+ years while your little really needs you both.

My sweet babe, your Spirit Babies deserve the best shot at Earthside life. That means you deserve a partner who can handle your no, your needs, and your worst days, not just the fun, glowy ones.

This isn’t about being picky. This is about building a foundation. You are not “too much.” You’re practicing discernment, and that is hot, powerful, and necessary.

How I Can Support You

Ready to go deeper into your Spirit Baby journey? I got you. 💌

• 🌸 Get on my waitlist for a Spirit Baby Reading

• 🌿 Take a guided meditation with me into the Spirit Baby Realm — meet the energies of your future babes in a a Lil Extra Reading

• 🕊️ Order a Spirit Baby Letter or two images to tide you over until you receive your reading

• 📝 Order my Spirit Baby Journal to track and build your connection & communication with your spirit babies